Yesterday I went to see my mother who is in the hospital in ICU and on a ventillator. She has heart and lung disease. One of her doctors called a meeting. He had given her husband the sense that off the ventillator that she would not last this month. Of course all of us were in shock and saddened by this. We were told when we arrived that the doctor was off sick and another doctor familiar with my mother would speak to us. As we all waited for the doctor to show up we each visited my mother. My husband and I went in first as I had not been there since she went into the hospital last week. As we walked in I saw my mother on the machine she was quite still but very conscious and aware. I could feel her fear and concern as to what was going on and why was everyone here. I think she suspected what was going on as we all thought that the doctor was going to ask us to take her off the respirator. Of course both of us broke down crying. We tried not to let her see as my mother is a very emotional person and it would add stress to her breathing and the ventillator. My mother was very aware and alert and I asked her if she wanted to stay or leave this earth. She was very strong in her motion to stay and get better. I knew in that moment that whatever the doctor had to say we were most definitely not going to remove the ventillator unless my mother said so. The doctor finally arrived for the meeting. He explained everything to us and what we could expect and how things were progressing. I won't get into all the details except when he asked us if her heart failed would she want to be resusitated. I knew she would but since she is very aware we should be asking her. Which we did and she expressed she would want this. We questioned this doctor who I must say I liked and who was very honest and open as to why her other doctor who called this meeting gave us the impression that my mother would probably not make it through this month without the ventillator. He was not aware of this and of course could not give any explanation. He said we were not at this point as she is still strong willed and alert. Well this in my opinion is where conventional medicine is to be observed and challenged. We are all aware of my mother's condition and the possibilities but until she is incapable or her condition becomes dire no doctor or medical facility should be over stepping there role as a doctor and creating a finality for the patient and family. This is what creates fear and negativity where we tend to give up and believe the doctor's word as God's will. I appreciate the care from many of the staff at the hospital but I would like to put out there for others in similar situations that when a doctor informs you that your family member, friend whomever just won't make it when it appears they still have their wits about them.. wake-up and take a position. Either get second, third or fourth opinions and closely observe the person as they may be better than you are lead to believe.......needing a bed, trying to cut costs or whatever does not give anyone the authority to make a life decision for someone that may be absolutely incorrect. Being someone who does and works in alternative healing I know that there are countless other methods to assist us in getting well and we must honour those that choose to use it as a complimentary to conventional medicine. Never give up on the living until they tell you their journey here is complete. Your soul will always be the one in charge so no matter if someone else tries to control or take charge the Universe will step in. If you recall I said that the other doctor who created the situation and called the meeting ended up not being there as he became ill himself. We were sent a doctor who fit into our family and cared about my mother. Most of all he honoured my mother as a great being still very much here and conscious. Someone who was not a number but part of the circle of us all. I left feeling a sense of hope and life...that I would help my mother in any way that I can and to also remember to be kind to all those around me. To you Mom as you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
